A man owned a small farm in Aberdeenshire. The Department of Wages claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the rep.

"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £200 a week plus free room and board.

The cook/housekeeper has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per week plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whisky every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit," says the rep.

"That would be me," replied the farmer.

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